Riding for the Feeling

Who would you trust more: the internet’s “girl next door” or a girl who happens to literally be next door? In the echoey hot house of contemporary culture, in which every possible niche or social group increasingly overlap, ”girl next door” and irl “girl who’s next door” might be the same person.

There has never been more information and analysis about how people get influenced. And it’s never been more obvious that one thing is the same as it ever was (and I mean ever): friendship is the ultimate influence.

Nothing will make me hit the purchase button as quickly as a friend recommending something to me. I’m forever seeking the dopamine rush of someone turning to me to say, “I saw THIS and it made me think of YOU.” I’m seen. I’m heard. And I’m buying it. They know what I like, and I trust them to tell me what I like.

I’m gullible, yes, but never dumb.

It isn’t just that I’m particularly easily influenced nor frivolous with my money – this is science brands have been relying on for 100 years. The Marketing Rule of 7 states that the average consumer needs to see the same message or the same brand seven times before they take action. Applied to our industry, when brands tap an influencer friend group for partnership, especially a friend group with audience cross over and shared community, they are starting a ripple effect. Thinking about friendship and brand partnership together is an opportunity to foster trust and build credibility with multiple touchpoints, which is ultimately a conversion driver.

Sometimes we forget that these touchpoints aren’t the end of the road. After the inciting incident of me purchasing something a friend recommends, I tell that to someone else, who tells it to the next person, and so on – a classic telephone tree:

A doomscroll is interrupted by an initial spark: I see a top I like; my interest is piqued!

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I fully forget about the top; maybe…oh, wait: is that it again on that girl?

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Lingering thoughts: Looking in the mirror at my outfit, wondering, man, that would look so good with what I’m wearing. Wish I had it.

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*sees a whitelisted post with said item*

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I go to dinner with a friend; she takes off her jacket, and is wearing the exact top I was ooh-ing and ah-ing at online. I’m gobsmacked that this sneaky cookie tracked my friend and I’s identical habits and showed us the same top. A bonus score— she said I could borrow it anytime. Girl math!

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But even that isn’t enough: I go home and purchase it for myself. I need it

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I need it on my own time.

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I wear it to work; my coworker compliments it. Coworker purchases.

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The cycle continues.

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My best friends and I all hold the same values, so it also makes sense that we have the same taste and affinities in everything from workout classes to the perfect long-sleeve t-shirt (it’s from Intimissimi btw) to the perfectly chilled glasses of skin-contact to recap our week over, etc.

My best friends are also incredibly accessible to me. When it comes to securing a reliable product recommendation, the idea of simply running to the group chat to ask my friends is far more appealing than the alternative of slogging through a frenzied Google Image reverse-search-rabbit-hole-labyrinth. It’s no surprise then that you’d also be more willing to try those new products or recommendations when your best friend encourages you to try it; that trust is already established.

In a community of like-minded people, you’re reflected and reinforced (read: influenced) by the people around you.

But also: even when a group has more in common than not, we are not all copy-paste duplicates of one another. We’re all individuals with singular lived experiences —duh! And that’s also the magic of it: our different experiences lead to the best kinds of discoveries—we’re always taking turns being the one who finds something new and amazing.

A trope that arises time and time again in the office, at Fohr, is the art of Best Friend Dressing* (Best Friend Dressing (bɛst frɛnd ˈdrɛsɪŋ) n.(noun): The act of serendipitously twinning in a very cool Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen way; not to be confused with Bitch Stole My Look, Who Wore It Best, et cetera (you get the picture)). You’ve probably experienced or observed Best Friend Dressing as: a flock of girls getting off the bus from nearby suburbs, going out in the East Village, and they’re all wearing the same jeans, black top, and the season’s hottest sneaker; sweet old ladies, hand in hand, walking down the street in matching fur coats; hell–best friends wearing best friend bracelets! Not so long ago, it was unforgivable to show up to an event wearing the same thing as someone else (via Prom Nightmare), but, somewhere along the way, we discovered that imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery and that Best Friend Dressing is something to celebrate (scientists now recognize this shift as the moment at which the prefrontal cortex becomes fully formed, designating the achievement of complete adult maturity**). In my favorite podcast, Ride, best friends Mary Beth Barone (@marybethbarone) and Benito Skinner (@bennydrama7) say that “a mall is an older sister.” With this same poetic license in mind, allow me to etch a new entry in the canon: an influencer is a best friend.

Before committing to following a creator, I need to vibe them out. Maybe I take myself too seriously OR maybe I’m a perfect judge of character who has never been wrong about a person’s vibe. Will they actually show me things I want to see? Nurturing this parasocial relationship to its fullest potential takes time and patience. Eventually, we will get there, but this natural human bias is why the opportunity for brands to tap into friend groups of influencers, already interconnected to one another’s communities and built to appeal to the masses, is so massive.

We’re all products of our own influences. And yet, I ask you to strive to be the influence you wish to receive. Continue to be curious and try new things. Buy that damn lip balm. Follow that influencer and become a part of that community. Hell, become an influencer and create your own community. But before you do, never forget to tell your best friend that you love them and their influence.

*Thank you to Grace and Em, the originators of best friend dressing.

**Not actually factual